Little dictator syndrome: how it is and what to do
The little one has arrived home, we fill him with love and as we often say we make him the King of it. We fill it with gifts, we avoid that it feels uncomfortable, we spoil it and without wanting to give it all the whims.
In principle something that we see as positive can transform our son over time into a little dictator. By dictator we understand that person who abuses his authority and / or treats others harshly.
The dictator, is born or is it made?
It is true that children already since they are in the last stages of pregnancy and at the beginning of their first days bring with them part of the genetic load that will form their character. But genetics definitely does not make or convert our son into a dictator.
From 6 years of age until adolescence, this syndrome may begin to appear and may later become a pronounced personality characteristic in adulthood. Obviously the bigger our dictator the more difficult we will have to mitigate him and educate him with adequate guidelines.
Small Dictator Syndrome
We can talk about our son becoming a little dictator when the roles at home have changed. It is the child who commands and the parents who obey. The child who explodes in anger and the parents who hide.
The children demand and the parents surrender. Appearing in many cases violent episodes both verbal and physical in order to achieve the objectives.
Detecting the dictator: how is it usually
Today, with tight schedules and calendars without spaces, many parents are forced to leave their children in day care or with a family member. In recent years the sense of guilt of the parents has increased and as such "compensations."
"Since today I have not seen the child all day, I'm going to give him a toy", "I'm going to let him go to bed later", "it does not matter if he does not pick up", "he gets mad at me because I have not been with him", "I'm going to reward him" ... In this way the child is not compensated, in this way he is creating a small person who does and says what he wants to be always justified and without consequences.
Here are some personal characteristics that can help us recognize if we are creating a little dictator at home:
- It is hedonistic: Always look for activities that comfort you and give you pleasure without taking into account other situations.
- It is egocentric: his center of thought is him. It does not notice others or put itself in its place.
- Has a low tolerance for frustration: as soon as a situation gets out of reach or things are not done in their own way, they are cheated, shouted, kicked, etc.
- They have handling behaviors: They are able to manipulate the people around them by using grief, guilt or lying in their favor.
- They have no sense of responsibility or this is very low: the tasks have to be done for him and he does not need to explain anything to anyone. Since they get used to being constantly justified.
I think my son is a little dictator, what should I do?
First you have to recognize it. You and your family. This fact is complicated because we tend to think that we do not know how to educate, that we are negligent and that we are hurting when we believe that we are favoring. Nobody is born knowing, and educating is learned by educating.
Once the problem is recognized, take action. The most important thing is to establish a coherent educational line in relation to the people closest to you who are taking care of your child's education. That is, the family must establish the same guidelines, punishments, limits and awards for the child's behavior.
Be clear about limits and do not let your guard down. He has to understand that borders draw you. Do not justify the behaviors and work them through routines, routines and more routines.
Fight the confrontations and challenges of your child with love and understanding but without compromising your limits. Do not yell at him, make him understand how things are. React calmly and make yourself respected by simply not letting your child take land that does not belong to him. Do not enter into discussions, just remember the rules and repeat them. Be strong and remember that education is a long-distance race and not a miracle.
Try to teach empathy and always be an example to him. Work the responsibility and awareness and impact of their actions with others.
You are not alone, contact the school, they will know how to orient you or refer you to a specialist in case this syndrome is at its peak. This article is published for informational purposes only. You can not and should not replace the consultation with a Pediatrician. We advise you to consult your trusted pediatrician.