Why you should not be such a perfectionist

When we ask ourselves what qualities probably represent us in the word perfectionism some enter. We usually also say it with enthusiasm, with impetus, but surely that deep down we think, what if it were less perfectionist? would be happier? Would I know how to make mistakes more easily?

We know that accepting mistakes or setbacks is not exactly the easiest of tasks, and how much more perfectionist we try to be, it is harder for us to accept them. If we feel that some event or circumstance does not happen as we expected, we probably feel that we do not have everything under control, and right from that moment begin the fears and insecurities.

Surely they have sold us that we are better when we control absolutely everything, but without realizing that our own internal calvary begins there. We stopped remembering when it was the last time we were wrong and learned about it, but we only have very much in mind how well we have prepared the table, the food or how good we are with that person or in that job.

Do we really know what "perfectionism" means?

We can define it exactly as the constant attitude that has a person, which tends to seek perfection in what it does, improving it indefinitely without deciding to consider it never finished.

Without being very deep we know that this leads us to achieve more goals and a supposed higher personal satisfaction but, do we know when to stop ?.

Probably not. Being perfectionists in excess makes us live in tension continues. We probably feel a great fear and we consider ourselves, what happens if I do not get it? What if I'm wrong? What will others think of me? We lose the nature of the human being to make mistakes and acquire the education that entails.

Surely we are easily distressed and also we are not even able to celebrate our achievements then we are already thinking about the next one. We do not know how to be still without doing anything, it is how a continuous need to have to be doing something but we feel that we waste time and we forget that we lose ourselves.

What is good to know?

It is good to know the difference between continuously demanding to do things right or improving things when you can, without anguish or stress, knowing that if we can not or at that moment we are not capable of it, we are still equally valuable and important. It is good to know that we do not have to detract from our value but to keep in mind that, at least, we have tried it, without taking into account what the result has been.

Is good know that perfectionism makes us lose and suffer many aspects of our lives. Surely you have never raised this serious question:

  • Do I always have the need to be the best or the first in everything ?.
  • Do I have the constant feeling that I always have to be improving how I am, what I am doing or have done?
  • Do you feel in a continuous loop of stress and anxiety?
  • Back activities where you do not feel completely sure of yourself ?.

If your answers are affirmative you are a perfectionist person. This is not bad, the bad thing is to continue continuing on this path without being fully aware of it. And what is even worse, suffering from the fact of not always getting what we propose, or because things do not go as we want. Probably at some stage of your life you felt that you had low self-esteem and you started to grab hold of it.

With what thoughts can we relate perfectionism?

Everything we think about ourselves is reflected in our way of acting. Surely we feel the need to feel the approval of certain people, we are afraid of rejection, we tend to have thoughts in a radical way we do not observe the range of grays or it has to be black or white, we maintain an unperceived perception about ourselves and we usually classify errors As failures or I'm useless, I'm worthless.

Changing habits ...

Today we invite you to observe without judging and listen to you without justifying yourself. You do not have to be perfect in everything you do or how you do it. Life teaches us that it is necessary to make mistakes to know ourselves a little more each day to ourselves to our own essence.

When you try something and do not achieve it, do not crush yourself just think, I tried. Feel good doing nothing while enjoying a day to yourself without exigency. You only need the approval of yourself, nobody judges you.

The first step is to accept to be able to improve. This article is published for informational purposes only. It can not and should not replace the consultation with a Psychologist. We advise you to consult your trusted Psychologist.

The Perfectionist Trap (September 2019)